Author’s note: I’m not interested in vilifying men, or anyone for that matter. I don’t enjoy or participate in takedowns or pile-ons, I don’t want anyone to suffer more than any of us already are, I don’t think shaming or telling someone what a piece of shit they are is an effective tactic, etc. This is not a “men are shit” conversation. It is to be read from a perspective of bewilderment and frustration and anger at what is. All of the men in my life, and there are many, want muchly to heal, become aware, do good, be good, be better men. But I so often find that rape and assault, abortion, childcare, unpaid labor, etc. are issues seen as gendered, left to women to understand, navigate, and enact change. This was written not as an indictment of anyone, but as a wish, really, that men might take a more active role in considering the things women have no choice in considering as part of whatever work they are doing. That men might read the books we write and believe themselves to be inc…
© 2025 Holly Whitaker
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