Thank you Holly. Thank you. Thank you because I say this not lightly, after finding you and yes Tempest I wouldn’t be where I am. Yes I did the work, but AA did pull me down. You built me up. You and your tremendous work, blood and tears built me up. I have had lots of months sober but today my 193 days is the first time I have done it with kindness and love to myself. You Holly you!!!! Taught me that. Thank you Miranda
Thank you for articulating so well having that feeling of unease & discomfort about something that I should be grateful for & worked hard for… That feels too comfortable to share with others as a result too!
I loved your book! Your approach to healing ourselves is so refreshing and is needed by women. I will never forget being told at the last AA meeting I attended that my problem wasn't a drinking problem, it was that I was defective, and unless I turned over my will and my life to a higher power and asked to be cured of my defects, I would remain defective for the rest of my life. No. We need someone to tell us we are not broken, we are not defective, and we have the agency to get better through our actions and choices. We are powerful and we need a strong community to keep affirming this when the world tries to bring us down and put us in a small place.
This 57 year old cancer survivor, who realizes booze probably contributed to her cancer, and is trying hard AS FUCK to completely quit, applauds you and your use of the word “woman”, in the title of your book and in your life in general. “Fight Like A Girl” I was told so many times, and while I do see what the zeitgeist behind that phrase is all about and deeply respect the legions who love it, it always hit me wrong personally. Fighting cancer, like kicking alcohol out of your life, requires fucking grit and determination. No matter what your age, the day you truly begin a fight for your life (because that’s what both those battles are about) you are using your power as a woman.
I didn't like the article either. sure it said many good things but I totally agree that everything is compared to AA. And no one is talking about the fact that there are institutions INVESTED in and profiting off a free model. What I mean is, state recovery programs get paid to provide services (and very well in many cases) and among what they do is promote the 12 step model as part of treatment. As do DUI programs and courts. Most of the treatment providers are men and have been in those positions for many years. And I'm talking about a very large state.
It must be really hard to write so well and still be so misunderstood. Very frustrating. But please keep at it, as long as you can. Thanks for sharing the backstory of stuff, I know you've been quite for a while but it's been a weird hard crazy few years.
This brings tears to my eyes. Because the struggle is real and you are allowed to feel your truth without having to worry about other people and their opinions of how you “should” feel. I love your journey. You helped launch me into sobriety and I am forever grateful. There is something inside me that reacts emotionally to your words. Maybe because I know what that bottom feels like and I know I can crawl out. Always grateful to hear you think. Thank you.
I 100% understand your ambivalence about the publicity aspect, Holly. I found the tone of The Cut article to be super shitty.
There was one line in particular that I really took issue with... "Less convincing are those parts of her book in which she veers into The Secret territory, imbuing the act of not drinking with values and powers I’m not sure it has." WTF! You know what? After however many decades of using drinking to pulverize your own insides so as to not feel your own personal pain as well as the pain of this world, not doing that anymore feels nothing short of a miracle. Salty AF and super lacking in understanding and compassion.
This limited narrative of pitting what you are trying to do against AA is tired, played out, and not constructive. And for the life of me I don't understand why it's considered so transgressive to be critical of the sanctimonious AA approach. I find the pat responses from AA'ers that those who don't resonate with the program either don't fully understand it, or haven't really given it a fair shot - the responses seem to range from really dismissive to gaslighting.
When it comes to helping people get out of the hell of alcohol dependence, is the goal to be "right" or is it ultimately to be helpful and supportive? Don't we want to live in a world where there's more than only one right way do things?
I will never not be grateful for your willingness to speak openly about your experience and to put your work out into the world, Holly. Unfortunately I think the price you've had to pay is dealing with a shitload of misogyny thrown back at you. And a lot of misunderstanding of your ultimate aim. It's super super sucky, and you have every right in the world to speak to the reality of that.
Thank you for writing so beautifully and honestly Holly. We need voices like yours if the stigma and willful ignorance and misunderstanding about addiction that still predominates, and which kills addicts like us, is ever going to be overturned. Keep going, but not at the cost of losing yourself. X
Holly your writing never ceases to gift me something I needed, and this is no exception. I found your instagram when I was lost, and your writing is the reason I've just celebrated 4 years AF. I put your book in the hands of every person I care about, and I recommend Tempest constantly. Thank you for that and for articulating why this article sat so poorly with me, and for everything you put into the world <3
I can never thank you enough for the work you have done and the sacrifices you have made to bring alcohol addiction out into the daylight. Your efforts brought me to a place where I was able to get sober (and want to be that way). Hip Sobriety and the community you created changed my life, changed my whole family, brought me back into healthy relationships with my three daughters. What you did was priceless. The Hip Ace Forever group is still going strong. We still support each other on a daily basis, and many of us have become friends IRL. You are a force of goodness..XOXO
I also thought the article was shitty. But I read it a few days into my dry January. I had read your book during a sober stint right before the pandemic and the article sparked my memory. It also led me to finally join Tempest. And to read the book again. Maybe not good press but well-timed press for me. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.
I returned to the start of the newsletter as I subscribed. It feels like really good investment of my time. I learn much from your way of writing and contents. Thank you.
Thank you Holly. Thank you. Thank you because I say this not lightly, after finding you and yes Tempest I wouldn’t be where I am. Yes I did the work, but AA did pull me down. You built me up. You and your tremendous work, blood and tears built me up. I have had lots of months sober but today my 193 days is the first time I have done it with kindness and love to myself. You Holly you!!!! Taught me that. Thank you Miranda
Thank you for articulating so well having that feeling of unease & discomfort about something that I should be grateful for & worked hard for… That feels too comfortable to share with others as a result too!
You write so gd well. Thank you.
I loved your book! Your approach to healing ourselves is so refreshing and is needed by women. I will never forget being told at the last AA meeting I attended that my problem wasn't a drinking problem, it was that I was defective, and unless I turned over my will and my life to a higher power and asked to be cured of my defects, I would remain defective for the rest of my life. No. We need someone to tell us we are not broken, we are not defective, and we have the agency to get better through our actions and choices. We are powerful and we need a strong community to keep affirming this when the world tries to bring us down and put us in a small place.
This 57 year old cancer survivor, who realizes booze probably contributed to her cancer, and is trying hard AS FUCK to completely quit, applauds you and your use of the word “woman”, in the title of your book and in your life in general. “Fight Like A Girl” I was told so many times, and while I do see what the zeitgeist behind that phrase is all about and deeply respect the legions who love it, it always hit me wrong personally. Fighting cancer, like kicking alcohol out of your life, requires fucking grit and determination. No matter what your age, the day you truly begin a fight for your life (because that’s what both those battles are about) you are using your power as a woman.
I didn't like the article either. sure it said many good things but I totally agree that everything is compared to AA. And no one is talking about the fact that there are institutions INVESTED in and profiting off a free model. What I mean is, state recovery programs get paid to provide services (and very well in many cases) and among what they do is promote the 12 step model as part of treatment. As do DUI programs and courts. Most of the treatment providers are men and have been in those positions for many years. And I'm talking about a very large state.
It must be really hard to write so well and still be so misunderstood. Very frustrating. But please keep at it, as long as you can. Thanks for sharing the backstory of stuff, I know you've been quite for a while but it's been a weird hard crazy few years.
This brings tears to my eyes. Because the struggle is real and you are allowed to feel your truth without having to worry about other people and their opinions of how you “should” feel. I love your journey. You helped launch me into sobriety and I am forever grateful. There is something inside me that reacts emotionally to your words. Maybe because I know what that bottom feels like and I know I can crawl out. Always grateful to hear you think. Thank you.
I 100% understand your ambivalence about the publicity aspect, Holly. I found the tone of The Cut article to be super shitty.
There was one line in particular that I really took issue with... "Less convincing are those parts of her book in which she veers into The Secret territory, imbuing the act of not drinking with values and powers I’m not sure it has." WTF! You know what? After however many decades of using drinking to pulverize your own insides so as to not feel your own personal pain as well as the pain of this world, not doing that anymore feels nothing short of a miracle. Salty AF and super lacking in understanding and compassion.
This limited narrative of pitting what you are trying to do against AA is tired, played out, and not constructive. And for the life of me I don't understand why it's considered so transgressive to be critical of the sanctimonious AA approach. I find the pat responses from AA'ers that those who don't resonate with the program either don't fully understand it, or haven't really given it a fair shot - the responses seem to range from really dismissive to gaslighting.
When it comes to helping people get out of the hell of alcohol dependence, is the goal to be "right" or is it ultimately to be helpful and supportive? Don't we want to live in a world where there's more than only one right way do things?
I will never not be grateful for your willingness to speak openly about your experience and to put your work out into the world, Holly. Unfortunately I think the price you've had to pay is dealing with a shitload of misogyny thrown back at you. And a lot of misunderstanding of your ultimate aim. It's super super sucky, and you have every right in the world to speak to the reality of that.
Thank you for writing so beautifully and honestly Holly. We need voices like yours if the stigma and willful ignorance and misunderstanding about addiction that still predominates, and which kills addicts like us, is ever going to be overturned. Keep going, but not at the cost of losing yourself. X
Holly your writing never ceases to gift me something I needed, and this is no exception. I found your instagram when I was lost, and your writing is the reason I've just celebrated 4 years AF. I put your book in the hands of every person I care about, and I recommend Tempest constantly. Thank you for that and for articulating why this article sat so poorly with me, and for everything you put into the world <3
I can never thank you enough for the work you have done and the sacrifices you have made to bring alcohol addiction out into the daylight. Your efforts brought me to a place where I was able to get sober (and want to be that way). Hip Sobriety and the community you created changed my life, changed my whole family, brought me back into healthy relationships with my three daughters. What you did was priceless. The Hip Ace Forever group is still going strong. We still support each other on a daily basis, and many of us have become friends IRL. You are a force of goodness..XOXO
I also thought the article was shitty. But I read it a few days into my dry January. I had read your book during a sober stint right before the pandemic and the article sparked my memory. It also led me to finally join Tempest. And to read the book again. Maybe not good press but well-timed press for me. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.
I returned to the start of the newsletter as I subscribed. It feels like really good investment of my time. I learn much from your way of writing and contents. Thank you.