Yes, so much of this. Whenver I am asked this same question my answer is always, "Yes, but at what cost?" The energy it costs me to have the mental conversations with myself is exhasuting and endless. How much should I have tonight? Just 2, 2 is good. Or maybe 3. 3 if everyone else is. Then I won't drink tomorrow. 3 turns into several. Enter shame and regret. The cost is too high. Having the mental freedom to not think about this and a million more conversations like this is priceless.
Yesss. This. It's so priceless to not think about it and I think what sucks is you really don't know that until you've had it. I used to remember wishing I had never had a drink in the first place, didn't even know about it and I think that's what it feels like now. Like i just didn't even know it.
This newsletter is a gift. I have this topic with humans often, and we all are into the topic of sobriety since years now. For me this text is again an eye opener and such a on point remember. Holly, the way you write reaches me. I marked a lot of sentences just for the wording. Thanks to always find words again for what You want to bring across.
Maybe you can moderate. I can't. Don't want to try. I can't find the words to describe how much more I love my life without alcohol. It's day 355, and I want thousands more.
With so much LOVE, and gratitude, and Cinnamon Fire Jolly Ranchers, I wish you all a Beautiful Day! XOXOX Thank you, Holly!
This voice is what got me to the place I am today. 5 years AF. I love the empowerment here-the truth telling- that is what worked for me. The “I trust you to know”😘😘😘
“how important alcohol feels vs how important everything else does” ... or the way to care less about this thing is to care more about the other thing. Not sure how I keep losing this bit. I had a revolutionary moment this summer by applying this mantra to my job (that has swallowed me). It’s working. Thank you Holly. 🫶
I love this Holly. Reminds me my why’s and that personally I have to be AF. Six months into that journey and need this little reminder that for me moderation is not possible or worth it. Thank you!
Thank you for another articulate,thought provoking and helpful answer. I am on day 268 being Alcohol Free and they are the best (not always the easiest)days I have had since I had my first drink 53 years ago. I read something yesterday that I just loved. "If you are the kind of person that can't have just one.......Then have None. Thanks for such an impactful Newsletter.
Thank you, Holly, for reading my story and for the shout out at #3. The text got cut off there accidentally, but it seems you connected with it, and that’s so wonderful to hear! I truly appreciate all of your work in this wild ride called recovering. 🙏🏻♥️
Holly, I love how you think and your ability to share your personal experience in a way that connects us. Real resonance here. Thanks for Helping us connect and not feel alone. So glad you're living a life beyond expectation. What more could we ask for. Sending love. 🤍
Holly your point about how the language of moderation is a false narrative designed to make us think that we should be able to control our drinking really hit home.
The web of lies that keeps people stuck on the wheel of addiction is thick and multi stranded, thank you for shining a light on it. X
I've been a non-drinker for 794 days. Like I'm a non-smoker. Perhaps I could moderate, but I don't want to allow alcohol and everything that goes with it to take up space in my brain any more. It feels freeing. Thank you Holly and QLAW.
Jul 27, 2022·edited Jul 27, 2022Liked by Holly Whitaker
Thanks so much for this Holly!
I love that you point out your friend George’s experience v. your own, in regards to the need to moderate. It’s key in understanding, for me at least, why I am not able to drink like those who can so nonchalantly.
Also, thoroughly enjoyed your response to the podcast host asking “how do you do x or y or z without alcohol?” and “how do you tell ppl?” These are such annoying questions! It’s like “I do x, y, and z the same way I did before, only with much more clarity, joy, and presence!”
It’s just so freeing to truly see the power alcohol has over our society, commerce, culture - and then resist it. And to know others like me are out there, resisting as well. Thanks again for the reminder Holly!
Yes, exactly! Like oh you can just have one? Interesting…
Lol it reminds me of your book when you said “I had a friend who said she could always take it or leave it - but I never saw her leave it.” I’ve quoted that one bc it’s SO accurate!
Yes, so much of this. Whenver I am asked this same question my answer is always, "Yes, but at what cost?" The energy it costs me to have the mental conversations with myself is exhasuting and endless. How much should I have tonight? Just 2, 2 is good. Or maybe 3. 3 if everyone else is. Then I won't drink tomorrow. 3 turns into several. Enter shame and regret. The cost is too high. Having the mental freedom to not think about this and a million more conversations like this is priceless.
Yesss. This. It's so priceless to not think about it and I think what sucks is you really don't know that until you've had it. I used to remember wishing I had never had a drink in the first place, didn't even know about it and I think that's what it feels like now. Like i just didn't even know it.
This newsletter is a gift. I have this topic with humans often, and we all are into the topic of sobriety since years now. For me this text is again an eye opener and such a on point remember. Holly, the way you write reaches me. I marked a lot of sentences just for the wording. Thanks to always find words again for what You want to bring across.
than you Yvi <3
OMG, What Holly Said!
Maybe you can moderate. I can't. Don't want to try. I can't find the words to describe how much more I love my life without alcohol. It's day 355, and I want thousands more.
With so much LOVE, and gratitude, and Cinnamon Fire Jolly Ranchers, I wish you all a Beautiful Day! XOXOX Thank you, Holly!
Congrats Tracy! 355, wowowow. All the Cinnamon Fire Jolly Ranchers.
Thanks so much! 🤗💕Love you
This voice is what got me to the place I am today. 5 years AF. I love the empowerment here-the truth telling- that is what worked for me. The “I trust you to know”😘😘😘
love you.
Saving this to forward to people in the future. Yours is the response I always try to give but mine ends up sounding annoying to people I think. xo
love you.
As someone who also “cannot be like George”, I really appreciate your honest words!
<3
“how important alcohol feels vs how important everything else does” ... or the way to care less about this thing is to care more about the other thing. Not sure how I keep losing this bit. I had a revolutionary moment this summer by applying this mantra to my job (that has swallowed me). It’s working. Thank you Holly. 🫶
Not sure how I keep losing this bit is a thing I ask myself all the time. WHY DON'T I REMEMBER THINGS THAT MAKE MY LIFE BETTER? love.
I love this Holly. Reminds me my why’s and that personally I have to be AF. Six months into that journey and need this little reminder that for me moderation is not possible or worth it. Thank you!
helpful for me too, Fran. <3
Rock on, Fran! <3
Thank you for another articulate,thought provoking and helpful answer. I am on day 268 being Alcohol Free and they are the best (not always the easiest)days I have had since I had my first drink 53 years ago. I read something yesterday that I just loved. "If you are the kind of person that can't have just one.......Then have None. Thanks for such an impactful Newsletter.
the best, not the easiest <3 congrats Suzena!
Keep going Suzena! It's worth it. You are worth it! xx
Thank you, Holly, for reading my story and for the shout out at #3. The text got cut off there accidentally, but it seems you connected with it, and that’s so wonderful to hear! I truly appreciate all of your work in this wild ride called recovering. 🙏🏻♥️
also I fixed it!
that's so weird! Probably because I embedded something below it and that always fucks stuff up. Hey, it was SO GOOD. Thank you for sharing it.
Hit the nail on the head, as always. xx
<3
Holly, I love how you think and your ability to share your personal experience in a way that connects us. Real resonance here. Thanks for Helping us connect and not feel alone. So glad you're living a life beyond expectation. What more could we ask for. Sending love. 🤍
I didn't say it was an easy one <3 But it's pretty fucking great. Thanks. So glad you're here.
Holly your point about how the language of moderation is a false narrative designed to make us think that we should be able to control our drinking really hit home.
The web of lies that keeps people stuck on the wheel of addiction is thick and multi stranded, thank you for shining a light on it. X
<3
I've been a non-drinker for 794 days. Like I'm a non-smoker. Perhaps I could moderate, but I don't want to allow alcohol and everything that goes with it to take up space in my brain any more. It feels freeing. Thank you Holly and QLAW.
Karen <3
This was such a great read. Beautifully put Hol, and the end was so empowering and satisfying.
🤗
Thanks so much for this Holly!
I love that you point out your friend George’s experience v. your own, in regards to the need to moderate. It’s key in understanding, for me at least, why I am not able to drink like those who can so nonchalantly.
Also, thoroughly enjoyed your response to the podcast host asking “how do you do x or y or z without alcohol?” and “how do you tell ppl?” These are such annoying questions! It’s like “I do x, y, and z the same way I did before, only with much more clarity, joy, and presence!”
It’s just so freeing to truly see the power alcohol has over our society, commerce, culture - and then resist it. And to know others like me are out there, resisting as well. Thanks again for the reminder Holly!
It took me a while to understand Georges exist! And when you do you're like, oh, you're different. lol.
Yes, exactly! Like oh you can just have one? Interesting…
Lol it reminds me of your book when you said “I had a friend who said she could always take it or leave it - but I never saw her leave it.” I’ve quoted that one bc it’s SO accurate!