Hi friend! A reminder: (1) I’ve updated the About page and added a little mission listicle about how recovery is The Answer; (2) starting in August the essay portion of the newsletter will be free, the link section (“Ten Things Right Now”) will be for paid subscribers only. If you love this newsletter, get something out of it, read it weekly, and have the means,
Every time I forget how much I adore your writing, your latest post pops up. BTW, I think 40-ish women in pretty dresses and combat boots rock. A few quotes: Hemingway: “I loathe the process of writing but love the results.” Bob Dylan: “Life is sad, life is a bust. All you can do is do what you must. You do what you must do and you do it well.” Joni Mitchell: “I wish I had a river I could skate away on.” And someone whose name I’ve forgotten:” I write because I can’t not write. I have to.” Raul Malo of the Mavericks “I just want to dance the night away.”
Also, I too caught the 90s nostalgia fever and bought a baby doll dress a few years ago. The flimsy crepe fabric tore the first time I wore it. A sign from the universe that this go round of 90s inspired lewks isn't meant for me? Oh well... these youngsters may get to wear fast fashion knockoffs of our youth but we got to LIVE the 90s so who has the last laugh, really?
Your closing paragraph is a balm for this writer. I, too, imagine those women (and you!) effortlessly writing perfect pieces that don't need editing. Thank you for sharing your words with us!
As a lesbian, I will say: women at any age in a dress and combat boots please.
Whenever I sneak into the BP juniors section at Nordstrom to look at the clothes, Im afraid someone is going to ask me if I am shopping for my daughter.
I remember when I started getting “ma’m” ‘d by the hipsters at the organic grocery store. I hate it. We are the same age, except I have two decades on you.
The best thing that happened to me was joining a spiritual community with lots of women in their 70’s, 60’s, 50’s, 40’s who are living very full lives, often without children or partners. It makes being older way less scary.
The only thing I want back from my youth is the skin.
This right now. This right now being the practice. My practice. Sitting in it right now. Needed to hear this today. Coming out of having my best friend since I was 7, staying with me from UK for 5 weeks (and I am 59 - I still where DM’s) and now gone since Tuesday is making me sad. I love and miss her already, as does my pup Poppy. Hey ho. Back into the practice of right now. Oh and I hit 14 months of sobriety this week. So looks like some of this practice stuff is working!!! Thanks Holly loved this one!! Much love Miranda
First, for starters: I’m not a big writer from the Netherlands that everyone knows about. I wrote my first book about grief with my sweet mom in 2017 (self published), then a book by myself that I never allowed myself to publish and now I’m writing my third? I guess? One I’m definitely going to send out into the world someday. Sometimes it feels as if my little writing boat on the ocean is seeing some land and I’m exited about reaching the shore. (After 2,5 years.) Other times, like now (as in: for 2 months now) I’m there where the ocean has still great depths with fish at the dark bottom no one ever named, let alone ever laid eyes on. And I think: wtf happened to that feeling of seeing land?! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings about your process. To me, you are a big writer (lots of people know about!) and your first book cracked my head open. Your sharing softens the resistance that I have against feelings of not having the overview. To me, it was a moment of: hey what? Holly? HOLLY? HOLLY WHITAKER HAS THIS TOO?
This morning I took Anne Lamotts Bird by Bird out of the bookcase and it reminded me of the struggle we all share as writers. The enormous love for writing AND it’s common anxiety. We are such delicate, sensitive souls. ;)
Thank you also for Tara Brachs episode, it helped me so much yesterday evening (and is still helping me) to soften, to be more compassionate with myself. And it reminded me to invite God/Something Greater into my life.
And thank you for the bear live streaming. Omg the moment I saw one finally catching a fish made my day!!!
Omg the Club Como. Lol. It’s water. Reminds me of the article in 7x7 magazine when I was drinking about the superior ice cube and I was like Jezhus Christ it’s fucking frozen water but also wanted those ice cubes so so badly. Now I want this v v pretentious water. So badly.
Oof, thank you - I needed that reminder that *all of this* is the practice, even when it feels like I'm just circling around it. It's so much easier to see that retroactively than in the moment.
I really enjoyed your piece. I have never worn a dress in my adult life (I am a Catholic school butch lesbian 🥸) but I still felt the WTF is “that dress ages you” must have felt like---A 20 something suckerpunch. You wrote well about how that comment haunted you afterwards...I hope you know you would never trade that little girls problems for yours on any given day.
Oh my god this song. Always looking for and rarely finding music that hits in that John Fahey place. Thank you.
I’m 44 and wear my Dr. Martens boots almost every day to work and no one will stop me!!
Every time I forget how much I adore your writing, your latest post pops up. BTW, I think 40-ish women in pretty dresses and combat boots rock. A few quotes: Hemingway: “I loathe the process of writing but love the results.” Bob Dylan: “Life is sad, life is a bust. All you can do is do what you must. You do what you must do and you do it well.” Joni Mitchell: “I wish I had a river I could skate away on.” And someone whose name I’ve forgotten:” I write because I can’t not write. I have to.” Raul Malo of the Mavericks “I just want to dance the night away.”
I love you
I have no idea what "it ages you means" but it could have been worse. I have heard the old "mutton dressed as lamb" phrase before!!
Highly, HIGHLY recommend - How to Cook Your Life : From the Zen Kitchen to Enlightenment. It's a goodie xx
Gavin Newsom is a fucking coward!
Also, I too caught the 90s nostalgia fever and bought a baby doll dress a few years ago. The flimsy crepe fabric tore the first time I wore it. A sign from the universe that this go round of 90s inspired lewks isn't meant for me? Oh well... these youngsters may get to wear fast fashion knockoffs of our youth but we got to LIVE the 90s so who has the last laugh, really?
Your closing paragraph is a balm for this writer. I, too, imagine those women (and you!) effortlessly writing perfect pieces that don't need editing. Thank you for sharing your words with us!
As a lesbian, I will say: women at any age in a dress and combat boots please.
Whenever I sneak into the BP juniors section at Nordstrom to look at the clothes, Im afraid someone is going to ask me if I am shopping for my daughter.
I remember when I started getting “ma’m” ‘d by the hipsters at the organic grocery store. I hate it. We are the same age, except I have two decades on you.
The best thing that happened to me was joining a spiritual community with lots of women in their 70’s, 60’s, 50’s, 40’s who are living very full lives, often without children or partners. It makes being older way less scary.
The only thing I want back from my youth is the skin.
This right now. This right now being the practice. My practice. Sitting in it right now. Needed to hear this today. Coming out of having my best friend since I was 7, staying with me from UK for 5 weeks (and I am 59 - I still where DM’s) and now gone since Tuesday is making me sad. I love and miss her already, as does my pup Poppy. Hey ho. Back into the practice of right now. Oh and I hit 14 months of sobriety this week. So looks like some of this practice stuff is working!!! Thanks Holly loved this one!! Much love Miranda
Thank you, Holly. 🙃
First, for starters: I’m not a big writer from the Netherlands that everyone knows about. I wrote my first book about grief with my sweet mom in 2017 (self published), then a book by myself that I never allowed myself to publish and now I’m writing my third? I guess? One I’m definitely going to send out into the world someday. Sometimes it feels as if my little writing boat on the ocean is seeing some land and I’m exited about reaching the shore. (After 2,5 years.) Other times, like now (as in: for 2 months now) I’m there where the ocean has still great depths with fish at the dark bottom no one ever named, let alone ever laid eyes on. And I think: wtf happened to that feeling of seeing land?! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings about your process. To me, you are a big writer (lots of people know about!) and your first book cracked my head open. Your sharing softens the resistance that I have against feelings of not having the overview. To me, it was a moment of: hey what? Holly? HOLLY? HOLLY WHITAKER HAS THIS TOO?
This morning I took Anne Lamotts Bird by Bird out of the bookcase and it reminded me of the struggle we all share as writers. The enormous love for writing AND it’s common anxiety. We are such delicate, sensitive souls. ;)
Thank you also for Tara Brachs episode, it helped me so much yesterday evening (and is still helping me) to soften, to be more compassionate with myself. And it reminded me to invite God/Something Greater into my life.
And thank you for the bear live streaming. Omg the moment I saw one finally catching a fish made my day!!!
Bye!
Omg the Club Como. Lol. It’s water. Reminds me of the article in 7x7 magazine when I was drinking about the superior ice cube and I was like Jezhus Christ it’s fucking frozen water but also wanted those ice cubes so so badly. Now I want this v v pretentious water. So badly.
Oof, thank you - I needed that reminder that *all of this* is the practice, even when it feels like I'm just circling around it. It's so much easier to see that retroactively than in the moment.
OMG THE BEAR CAM 🐻
This is bringing me so much joy.
I’ve shared it with several friends and they’re loving it.
Look up the Explore Live Nature video: Best Bear Butt Bear Cam Superlatives. There is a bear named Holly and her yearling 🫶
Thank you for sharing this and all of your words. Every time.
I really enjoyed your piece. I have never worn a dress in my adult life (I am a Catholic school butch lesbian 🥸) but I still felt the WTF is “that dress ages you” must have felt like---A 20 something suckerpunch. You wrote well about how that comment haunted you afterwards...I hope you know you would never trade that little girls problems for yours on any given day.