Wait, I’m behind…did you move to CA? or are you back to New York. I loved The Last of Us and agree on that episode. It was AMAZING for any kind of love story, and I’m glad it didn’t end with someone’s face being. If you haven’t seen Bad Sisters, do it. Though there is a lot of drinking in it, just fair warning. I get a little triggered by wine drinking but I loved the show. Thanks for the other recommendations. I was in Ireland in September and I was thrilled about the amount and normalcy of na beverages including GUINESS O.O ON TAP. Which for me wasn’t that great but I was glad I got to try it as that’s the big deal when you are there. They have way more alc free Prosecco that was better than what we have here. No one cared that I wasn’t drinking alcohol. Same in Canada.
Still in LA! But moving back and so back and forth a bit. I loved Bad Sisters and oh was there a lot of alcohol. I’ve never been to Ireland but that is very very lovely to hear about the normalization of na drinks.
You know Holly I read about your response to the horrible comment from a reader and for a moment I thought, yes this is what my response should be..ignore and practice being compassionate...for about a nano second...because why do you think the world is full of so many arseholez right now....?? Because the arsehole needs the dynamic of the accepting recipient to reinforce their atrocious behavior. Spirituality or religion have contributed to this global culture of abuse and intimidation by encouraging practices of acceptance but actually some people, some organizations, some Governments need consequences even if it is...your comments really hurt me to the point where I wanted to drink...otherwise we don't retain our right to respect or our rightful expression of outrage that people intentionally set out to do harm. We are always dumbing ourselves down to this idea of bliss and kindness to people behaving like shitheads to kind people.
I really get that; I don’t think of it as prescriptive or what everyone should do. And consequences be punishment is a distinction. And: I know what it feels like to engage, because I have. And I know what it feels like to take a breath, to sit with it, and do what’s under my control, which is what I let it do to me. I think years of having people say all kinds of things to me and about me has given me more exposure to this than the average human being, I’ve had a lot of opportunity and probably more than my lot. And what I’ve found, personally, is it’s amounted to a tremendous amount of practice which means it’s been a large opportunity. It doesn’t feel like bypassing to the love and light; it feels like acting in line with what I value which is peace over here; it’s hard and that’s what makes it good. That doesn’t extend to saying everyone should not react or respond or hold institutions or individuals accountable, that I dont beleive, but in my small corner the distinction is typically, what’s going to give me the best life, or where do I want to spend my limited resources. xx
Greetings from India. Glad you’re enjoying Circe. Great story. I’m reading “The Three Body Problem” a wild ride of politics, physics and and sci fi. If you use owls, move them around or the bunnies get used to them. But a fence is better. xo
A plastic owl like those is a key plot device in Michael Connelly's Harry Bosch novel "A Darkness More Than Night". This may, or may not, be a recommendation.
Yes you are right, it is a decision about what is best for me over a wider responsibility to our whole family of humanity and the environment. I suppose we all have such different habits to shift back from....but there is something for me about how we as a species, avoid discomfort especially feelings and have all kinds of justifications for not feeling righteous outrage...it's socially seen as unacceptable and yet it is a normal human emotion just like peacefulness or joy. And when we practice not expressing it, it gets locked in our bodies. I am not talking about berating and abusing people, I am talking about an outrage that fires creativity, that helps get injustice noticed, and you are right it is not a peaceful feeling, what it is in its healthy expression is vitality and passion . What are just about all Western civilization suffering from...low level depression which is suppressed rage. It's a pretty radical position but look at us all...addictions, mental health problems, economic and social bullying leading to shooting sprees from someone who has been suppressing rage, anxiety, while nature, our home that feeds us, is stripped. I feel the temptation to turn away from making complaints, giving feedback, speaking out because you are right it is exhausting and people get shitty but what I am finding is that the anxiety and depression that used to be there often has faded away in the growing sense of empowerment vitality and hope that i am speaking for my own self respect and the full healthy confidence that what is rising up in me is valid and true and needs expression. To me that is the best thing for any human being to feel. But this is the opposite advice initially for what is commonly known as the narcissists in our world...they need to learn a bit of self discipline and respect for others but I wouldn't have thought from the way you write that you fall into that category.
In regards to the 45 year old tech entrepreneur who is trying to look/be the biological age of 18 - Can you imagine being able to shell out $2 million dollars a year to project-manage your mid-life crisis?!?! Taking thousands of pictures of your bowls and tracking your nighttime erections?!?! Wow. Just... wow.
Thank you for the links to the critique/challenge to the "deaths of despair" concept. I just read another NYT op-ed that makes the case that mass shootings should be understood as "deaths of despair," and I've brought that into my classroom as we engage with Durkheim's concept of solidarity. Durkheim said that culture (e.g. ritual, or the "work, family, church" trilogy) is only one factor (economy and the legal system are the two others he focuses on) that shapes solidarity, even as he also argued that high solidarity leads to lower rates of suicide (in the 1800s, among white people). These pieces are an interesting check and I just printed them out to read and take notes!
Thanks for the recommendation--I haven't read Bruce Alexander. I want to read Dying of Whiteness--I feel behind the curve on that one--but also wonder if it's already outdated and/or not sufficiently intersectional.
As for Durkheim, of his books, the only one that I found really palatable to read was Suicide. I teach Introduction to Sociology at a CC, so I approach his ideas through a short excerpt of his (from The Division of Labor in Society) alongside work that is more readable, such as this one:
I've got PDFs of both if you can't snag library access.
Does Philosophize This! take requests? A podcast on Durkheim would be much better than having to read one of his books :).
A few posts ago you wrote about Eva Illouz--I've got that on my list now, too. I've read two of her earlier books, but didn't know she had another one out. One of the reasons I love the many newsletters I subscribe to are for book recommendations!
"sometimes other people’s pain will wear a mask that looks like your face." DEAD. Brilliant friend you have, Holly. This was gold for me today. Thank you!
Thank you for putting the term “mullet of newsletters” into the world because it absolutely made my day ❤️
Ha. I was proud of that
Wait, I’m behind…did you move to CA? or are you back to New York. I loved The Last of Us and agree on that episode. It was AMAZING for any kind of love story, and I’m glad it didn’t end with someone’s face being. If you haven’t seen Bad Sisters, do it. Though there is a lot of drinking in it, just fair warning. I get a little triggered by wine drinking but I loved the show. Thanks for the other recommendations. I was in Ireland in September and I was thrilled about the amount and normalcy of na beverages including GUINESS O.O ON TAP. Which for me wasn’t that great but I was glad I got to try it as that’s the big deal when you are there. They have way more alc free Prosecco that was better than what we have here. No one cared that I wasn’t drinking alcohol. Same in Canada.
Still in LA! But moving back and so back and forth a bit. I loved Bad Sisters and oh was there a lot of alcohol. I’ve never been to Ireland but that is very very lovely to hear about the normalization of na drinks.
Especially since alcohol is so entrenched in Irish culture
You know Holly I read about your response to the horrible comment from a reader and for a moment I thought, yes this is what my response should be..ignore and practice being compassionate...for about a nano second...because why do you think the world is full of so many arseholez right now....?? Because the arsehole needs the dynamic of the accepting recipient to reinforce their atrocious behavior. Spirituality or religion have contributed to this global culture of abuse and intimidation by encouraging practices of acceptance but actually some people, some organizations, some Governments need consequences even if it is...your comments really hurt me to the point where I wanted to drink...otherwise we don't retain our right to respect or our rightful expression of outrage that people intentionally set out to do harm. We are always dumbing ourselves down to this idea of bliss and kindness to people behaving like shitheads to kind people.
I really get that; I don’t think of it as prescriptive or what everyone should do. And consequences be punishment is a distinction. And: I know what it feels like to engage, because I have. And I know what it feels like to take a breath, to sit with it, and do what’s under my control, which is what I let it do to me. I think years of having people say all kinds of things to me and about me has given me more exposure to this than the average human being, I’ve had a lot of opportunity and probably more than my lot. And what I’ve found, personally, is it’s amounted to a tremendous amount of practice which means it’s been a large opportunity. It doesn’t feel like bypassing to the love and light; it feels like acting in line with what I value which is peace over here; it’s hard and that’s what makes it good. That doesn’t extend to saying everyone should not react or respond or hold institutions or individuals accountable, that I dont beleive, but in my small corner the distinction is typically, what’s going to give me the best life, or where do I want to spend my limited resources. xx
❤️❤️
Used fake owls for seagulls in Maine but never for bunnies. 🤔. Thank you for being you
Good to know! I always thought they were just ornamental
Not sure what scares bunnies. My cat does.
So do my dogs!
I did not expect to like Circe. I loved it.
Greetings from India. Glad you’re enjoying Circe. Great story. I’m reading “The Three Body Problem” a wild ride of politics, physics and and sci fi. If you use owls, move them around or the bunnies get used to them. But a fence is better. xo
A plastic owl like those is a key plot device in Michael Connelly's Harry Bosch novel "A Darkness More Than Night". This may, or may not, be a recommendation.
I took it as a recommendation
Yes you are right, it is a decision about what is best for me over a wider responsibility to our whole family of humanity and the environment. I suppose we all have such different habits to shift back from....but there is something for me about how we as a species, avoid discomfort especially feelings and have all kinds of justifications for not feeling righteous outrage...it's socially seen as unacceptable and yet it is a normal human emotion just like peacefulness or joy. And when we practice not expressing it, it gets locked in our bodies. I am not talking about berating and abusing people, I am talking about an outrage that fires creativity, that helps get injustice noticed, and you are right it is not a peaceful feeling, what it is in its healthy expression is vitality and passion . What are just about all Western civilization suffering from...low level depression which is suppressed rage. It's a pretty radical position but look at us all...addictions, mental health problems, economic and social bullying leading to shooting sprees from someone who has been suppressing rage, anxiety, while nature, our home that feeds us, is stripped. I feel the temptation to turn away from making complaints, giving feedback, speaking out because you are right it is exhausting and people get shitty but what I am finding is that the anxiety and depression that used to be there often has faded away in the growing sense of empowerment vitality and hope that i am speaking for my own self respect and the full healthy confidence that what is rising up in me is valid and true and needs expression. To me that is the best thing for any human being to feel. But this is the opposite advice initially for what is commonly known as the narcissists in our world...they need to learn a bit of self discipline and respect for others but I wouldn't have thought from the way you write that you fall into that category.
I absolutely love righteous anger; it's fuel. It's productive. I agree
Thanks for all of this
‘Now I’ve heard everything’ using a drug saves the planet?
Almost ALL pharmaceuticals had a plant origin .
No because I have real owls. That might be where my bunny went.
Lol
In regards to the 45 year old tech entrepreneur who is trying to look/be the biological age of 18 - Can you imagine being able to shell out $2 million dollars a year to project-manage your mid-life crisis?!?! Taking thousands of pictures of your bowls and tracking your nighttime erections?!?! Wow. Just... wow.
My only response is head shaking
I could see owls working, but I've also heard mirrors and dried sulfur work. Love you, Holly! Thank you for this. <3
THANK YOU!
Thank you for the links to the critique/challenge to the "deaths of despair" concept. I just read another NYT op-ed that makes the case that mass shootings should be understood as "deaths of despair," and I've brought that into my classroom as we engage with Durkheim's concept of solidarity. Durkheim said that culture (e.g. ritual, or the "work, family, church" trilogy) is only one factor (economy and the legal system are the two others he focuses on) that shapes solidarity, even as he also argued that high solidarity leads to lower rates of suicide (in the 1800s, among white people). These pieces are an interesting check and I just printed them out to read and take notes!
Do you recommend any specific book or paper of his? Also I highly recommend dislocation theory of addiction, Bruce Alexander, if you have not read
Thanks for the recommendation--I haven't read Bruce Alexander. I want to read Dying of Whiteness--I feel behind the curve on that one--but also wonder if it's already outdated and/or not sufficiently intersectional.
As for Durkheim, of his books, the only one that I found really palatable to read was Suicide. I teach Introduction to Sociology at a CC, so I approach his ideas through a short excerpt of his (from The Division of Labor in Society) alongside work that is more readable, such as this one:
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/089124302237893?journalCode=gasa
I've got PDFs of both if you can't snag library access.
Does Philosophize This! take requests? A podcast on Durkheim would be much better than having to read one of his books :).
A few posts ago you wrote about Eva Illouz--I've got that on my list now, too. I've read two of her earlier books, but didn't know she had another one out. One of the reasons I love the many newsletters I subscribe to are for book recommendations!
"sometimes other people’s pain will wear a mask that looks like your face." DEAD. Brilliant friend you have, Holly. This was gold for me today. Thank you!
California governor Newsom Exclaims “Clean and sober is the biggest damn mistake this country ever made.”
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