Aug 7, 2023·edited Aug 7, 2023Liked by Holly Whitaker
Thanks for this. I think about this fracture all the time too, am glad I'm not alone and now think that lots of us are thinking about it which is good news. It's been hard to put into words so I've not discussed it with anyone at length. I think all your ideas for possible causes are simultaneously true. And the ego digging in on the threshold of being dissolved framing is so much better than the dying dinosaur taking its last growl and swipe.
Aug 7, 2023·edited Aug 7, 2023Liked by Holly Whitaker
For a few weeks now, I've experienced strange pains in my chest. Went to the doctor, the whole thing. It wasn't anything "life-threatening," but I realized it's what this essay is about. This chasm we're living inside. And I feel like we're stuck in the chasm, getting bombarded from both sides. I am the five year old with the chainsaw. "Addiction, in general, makes more sense to me than the absence of it does, especially right now." OOF, right? Thanks for being able to work this weird feeling out in words.
I loved this piece. The fracture is bloody exhausting. Currently swinging wildly between "creatives need time to sit around and do nothing," and "I need to finish all my projects by (latest) October by waking up at 4.30am every day and adhering to a strict no nonsense writing/eating/training schedule," type thing.
Aug 7, 2023·edited Aug 7, 2023Liked by Holly Whitaker
As for me, I'm free from alcohol and absolutely addicted to performance, achievement, and productivity. As usual, you're onto something Holly. I sure hope its the the ego dissolving. Love your big thoughts and bravery in sharing.
The thing about doing our most infantile work right before a breakthrough feels like everything that's happening right now. Probably yes outside in the world, definitely yes, inside of me.
I have an essay going up tomorrow about the book Please Unsubscribe, Thanks! by Julio Vincent Gambuto which I just read and which is making me think so much about these corporate systems that have encouraged me to numbly click-to-buy, buy more stuff, just subscribe, be a loyalty member, do whatever Instagram says. I'm not on social media anymore, but that infant artist in me wants to keep buying cute shoes instead of having the breakthrough.
This is so so good holly. I’m ashamed of how many times I’ve googled ozempic while thinking I should just meditate and go for a walk, and eating an entire bag of lollies while trying to eat only organic food. It’s exhausting! You’ve nailed it with the collective consciousness but also that element of self destruction. Loved reading this! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
This essay reminded me of a client I worked with for quite a few years.
In his very first session, he said to me,
“I don’t want to come out of this hating my mother”
By the time we were done he had realised the importance of allowing himself to hate her so that he no longer had to. The ego digging in before being dissolved.
Wow — I’m reeling a little bit. These are all separately things I’ve been contemplating every day, but I never thought of them as being tied together like this and it’s making me feel like everything finally makes sense.
I hope you will keep exploring this. I believe you are onto something.
I’m 64. Working with no retirement in sight. I’m told daily by books, podcasts, friends, and my doc that anytime after next year if I fall and break something, the odds are I will be dead on 12 months. I eat “heathy,” but my ldl particles are “high.” That’s bad. But size matters. I, too, wake at 4:30am after the requisite eight hours of sleep and meditate followed by other things that soothe my soul, keep my arteries clear, and strengthen my weakening bones before heading off to a soul-crushing job which probably obliterates all the aforementioned effort. But, here’s my question... I have this weird suspicion that most Americans just live their lives oblivious to all this noise and information. So stranded on their own island of their own perspective. Not saying this is good or bad. I can definitely see the benefits. But, but living in the fractured world, and knowing you are living in a fractured world is indeed hard. Even so, I don’t think I want it any other way. Let’s fasten our seat belts...
Great essay. Your thinking here reminds me of Durkheim’s concept of anomie, and how humans respond to losing crucial social connections. Which also ties in to Sherry Turkle’s work on internet life eroding public life. Which further erodes trust. Which then opens up even more space for the chasm and addictions as a coping mechanism. I’ll be thinking on this piece for a while.
I have a print journalism background and I like to think I can find what I need, but you REALLY find what I never knew I needed. Your perspective is an unrecycled observation on where we are, who we are and what we need right now. Thank you for the fresh air.
I love that you give words to a big picture. I tend to live a small life, because of my chronic illness and the small amount of energy I have, but whenever I venture in the world, I’m surprised about how much energy is squandered on the superficial, the escapism, the not what we yearn for.
Thanks for this. I think about this fracture all the time too, am glad I'm not alone and now think that lots of us are thinking about it which is good news. It's been hard to put into words so I've not discussed it with anyone at length. I think all your ideas for possible causes are simultaneously true. And the ego digging in on the threshold of being dissolved framing is so much better than the dying dinosaur taking its last growl and swipe.
For a few weeks now, I've experienced strange pains in my chest. Went to the doctor, the whole thing. It wasn't anything "life-threatening," but I realized it's what this essay is about. This chasm we're living inside. And I feel like we're stuck in the chasm, getting bombarded from both sides. I am the five year old with the chainsaw. "Addiction, in general, makes more sense to me than the absence of it does, especially right now." OOF, right? Thanks for being able to work this weird feeling out in words.
I loved this piece. The fracture is bloody exhausting. Currently swinging wildly between "creatives need time to sit around and do nothing," and "I need to finish all my projects by (latest) October by waking up at 4.30am every day and adhering to a strict no nonsense writing/eating/training schedule," type thing.
As for me, I'm free from alcohol and absolutely addicted to performance, achievement, and productivity. As usual, you're onto something Holly. I sure hope its the the ego dissolving. Love your big thoughts and bravery in sharing.
The thing about doing our most infantile work right before a breakthrough feels like everything that's happening right now. Probably yes outside in the world, definitely yes, inside of me.
I have an essay going up tomorrow about the book Please Unsubscribe, Thanks! by Julio Vincent Gambuto which I just read and which is making me think so much about these corporate systems that have encouraged me to numbly click-to-buy, buy more stuff, just subscribe, be a loyalty member, do whatever Instagram says. I'm not on social media anymore, but that infant artist in me wants to keep buying cute shoes instead of having the breakthrough.
This is so so good holly. I’m ashamed of how many times I’ve googled ozempic while thinking I should just meditate and go for a walk, and eating an entire bag of lollies while trying to eat only organic food. It’s exhausting! You’ve nailed it with the collective consciousness but also that element of self destruction. Loved reading this! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
This essay reminded me of a client I worked with for quite a few years.
In his very first session, he said to me,
“I don’t want to come out of this hating my mother”
By the time we were done he had realised the importance of allowing himself to hate her so that he no longer had to. The ego digging in before being dissolved.
Wow — I’m reeling a little bit. These are all separately things I’ve been contemplating every day, but I never thought of them as being tied together like this and it’s making me feel like everything finally makes sense.
I hope you will keep exploring this. I believe you are onto something.
I’m 64. Working with no retirement in sight. I’m told daily by books, podcasts, friends, and my doc that anytime after next year if I fall and break something, the odds are I will be dead on 12 months. I eat “heathy,” but my ldl particles are “high.” That’s bad. But size matters. I, too, wake at 4:30am after the requisite eight hours of sleep and meditate followed by other things that soothe my soul, keep my arteries clear, and strengthen my weakening bones before heading off to a soul-crushing job which probably obliterates all the aforementioned effort. But, here’s my question... I have this weird suspicion that most Americans just live their lives oblivious to all this noise and information. So stranded on their own island of their own perspective. Not saying this is good or bad. I can definitely see the benefits. But, but living in the fractured world, and knowing you are living in a fractured world is indeed hard. Even so, I don’t think I want it any other way. Let’s fasten our seat belts...
Great essay. Your thinking here reminds me of Durkheim’s concept of anomie, and how humans respond to losing crucial social connections. Which also ties in to Sherry Turkle’s work on internet life eroding public life. Which further erodes trust. Which then opens up even more space for the chasm and addictions as a coping mechanism. I’ll be thinking on this piece for a while.
Wait. There’s a code to crack?
Also, I refuse to do anything without music.
And, ❤️🙏
your brain (or whatever you want to call it) is amazing. i think we would be friends if we ever met.
I have a print journalism background and I like to think I can find what I need, but you REALLY find what I never knew I needed. Your perspective is an unrecycled observation on where we are, who we are and what we need right now. Thank you for the fresh air.
I love that you give words to a big picture. I tend to live a small life, because of my chronic illness and the small amount of energy I have, but whenever I venture in the world, I’m surprised about how much energy is squandered on the superficial, the escapism, the not what we yearn for.