Great reminders and points for anytime, but especially appreciated at this dark, emotionally-fraught time of year! Just made a quick “NA Craving Tools” Note in my phone for easy access, and saving this for always. Thank you 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
Thank you. I forgot about your lavender oil tip! That is so good- Im gonna pack mine for today and Mary Katherine Gallagher style sniff it. Thank you also for sharing your perspective about the Day of Mourning. All the pilgrim hat making things we did in 2nd grade seems bizarre when you become aware of the truth. Thank you for being an Ally for so many.
I made it through, oh my god I made it, drank too much, per ushe regretted it per ushe, promised not to drink the next day (whatevs) and rinse and repeat... Trigger: avoiding the boundary of not addressing rude comments from an adult child (long standing and I obviously skirted these issues all this time which is why she feels its ok to act like a teen when she is not) I understand my reaction is MY responsibility and it is has always been basted in alcohol as if any good has ever come of it... same same same.... Then on Dec 31 I woke up hungover and I decided ... I'm done, I need a break from alcohol, another dry January, perhaps I need a dry year, perhaps I am done with alcohol, I am at my tipping point and know that in order for me to heal from my own life, my own mothering, my own issues and hurts, I must leave alcohol so fucking far behind because the answer is not found there. Alcohol compounds everything its so fuckin heavy to carry. I said it out loud to my husband and I have never addressed my heavy alcohol use, ever. I finally "made it" to the empty nest and the spotlight is now on me and holy shit, I developed some pretty shitty coping skills to get through motherhood (I love my kids so much, just didnt love being divorced and having them in split homes, it was sooo hard and sooo emotional for the last 15 years) ANYWAY holiday 2022 I became a WITNESS (without knowing it) and I OBSERVED my behavior and DAMN, smh, damn..... damnnnn. SO Here I am and I am doing this, its taken me yearsssssssssss to get here, several failed "attempts" to moderate. nah, I'm done and I NEVER post ever ever ever especially about this most vulnerable topic (my personal use of alcohol).... but here I am and I am posting this to show up for myself, even if 1 person reads it, you are the first person I have told. I have abused alcohol to cope with the stressors of life (all of which are many other people's stories as well) and alcohol has never helped me understand how to process these stressors, just to numb from them, which is seems fine in the moment, but is not fine in the outcome and subsequent habitual return. But there is something very different now in how I feel about not choosing alcohol today. I choose to prioritize me, I choose to heal, I choose to release this emotional burden that I have failed at drinking away, its a ball that keeps finding its way back to the surface. So, fuck, I guess I play ball!
right on time. a million thanks to you, Hol. xx
Ah, the mega bus experience, been there done that
I love you and I'm sharing this far and wide.
Great reminders and points for anytime, but especially appreciated at this dark, emotionally-fraught time of year! Just made a quick “NA Craving Tools” Note in my phone for easy access, and saving this for always. Thank you 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
Thank you. I forgot about your lavender oil tip! That is so good- Im gonna pack mine for today and Mary Katherine Gallagher style sniff it. Thank you also for sharing your perspective about the Day of Mourning. All the pilgrim hat making things we did in 2nd grade seems bizarre when you become aware of the truth. Thank you for being an Ally for so many.
I made it through, oh my god I made it, drank too much, per ushe regretted it per ushe, promised not to drink the next day (whatevs) and rinse and repeat... Trigger: avoiding the boundary of not addressing rude comments from an adult child (long standing and I obviously skirted these issues all this time which is why she feels its ok to act like a teen when she is not) I understand my reaction is MY responsibility and it is has always been basted in alcohol as if any good has ever come of it... same same same.... Then on Dec 31 I woke up hungover and I decided ... I'm done, I need a break from alcohol, another dry January, perhaps I need a dry year, perhaps I am done with alcohol, I am at my tipping point and know that in order for me to heal from my own life, my own mothering, my own issues and hurts, I must leave alcohol so fucking far behind because the answer is not found there. Alcohol compounds everything its so fuckin heavy to carry. I said it out loud to my husband and I have never addressed my heavy alcohol use, ever. I finally "made it" to the empty nest and the spotlight is now on me and holy shit, I developed some pretty shitty coping skills to get through motherhood (I love my kids so much, just didnt love being divorced and having them in split homes, it was sooo hard and sooo emotional for the last 15 years) ANYWAY holiday 2022 I became a WITNESS (without knowing it) and I OBSERVED my behavior and DAMN, smh, damn..... damnnnn. SO Here I am and I am doing this, its taken me yearsssssssssss to get here, several failed "attempts" to moderate. nah, I'm done and I NEVER post ever ever ever especially about this most vulnerable topic (my personal use of alcohol).... but here I am and I am posting this to show up for myself, even if 1 person reads it, you are the first person I have told. I have abused alcohol to cope with the stressors of life (all of which are many other people's stories as well) and alcohol has never helped me understand how to process these stressors, just to numb from them, which is seems fine in the moment, but is not fine in the outcome and subsequent habitual return. But there is something very different now in how I feel about not choosing alcohol today. I choose to prioritize me, I choose to heal, I choose to release this emotional burden that I have failed at drinking away, its a ball that keeps finding its way back to the surface. So, fuck, I guess I play ball!