Hi friends…. I love how listening to Mitski is on your list Holly. I am reading this as I sit at the Calgary, Canada airport, waiting to board a flight to San Francisco so that we can go see Mitski play live this weekend. My 15 year old kid is a super fan and we’re being fun parents. 💗
I'm not sure what to think about the burgeoning popularity of psilocybin dosing. Small amounts of mushrooms have become decriminalized here in Denver where I live. At the school I did my undergrad degree at (a little hippie alternative Buddhist-inspired institution) you can now get a certificate in administering psychedelic-assisted therapies (this is for folks with a MA psychology degree) for $10,000!!! I think the one person who has had so much good stuff to say on all this is Ram Dass. You can take all kinds of beautiful trips, but eventually you have to come back down. They open a doorway, but you can't really stabilize into that "altered" state. But you can't deny the therapeutic value of really coming to see that consciousness and who we really are is far deeper and wider and vaster and complex and mysterious than we really get to experience in our normal, limited waking state. Ultimately Ram Dass was a proponent of yoga, meditation, and sangha/beloved community as a way to integrate and stabilize into the expanded states of consciousness that you can touch into on a psychedelic trip. But look what we've done to yoga in the United States in the past couple of decades. So who the heck knows? All in all I'm anticipating a major and over-the-top hype in the years to come.
This right here! Okay so many thoughts; and yes the hype is the thing to be concerned about because we're so starved for simple solutions to complex problems and we go through these cycles of pointing to silver bullets when there never will be one of those. I love your Ram Dass point which brings me back to something that Wayne Dyer said which was that alcohol and drugs didn't have a place on a spiritual journey, or what Buddhism ultimately says which is that in the end what we're trying to do is work with discomfort and anything that prevents us from really going there is in some form in the way. BUT THEN. There's also the history of drugs and altered states which is as old as humanity; since we've been, there has always been drugs, and there will always be drugs (I think). Also, Ram Dass thanked his experiences, he didn't regret them and I believe he said he couldn't have opened certain doors within himself without them (I'm thinking Grist For the Mill, which is where he also, incidentally, says abortion is murder and all abortion is bad). There's also indigenous and cultural use of drugs as rights of passage and part of ceremony, which is way different than you know, popping psilocybin to get shit done or whatever commodified use it provides to make us more productive. And then there's also the people I know personally with treatment resistant depression who have found extreme life-saving relief through Ketamine or other psychedelics and non-psychedelics like MDMA. And then also if we get really purist about it and say "we should find god with our own two hands" it starts to say, well what about suboxone or lexapro. Which is why I find it all so fascinating because so much nuance is required, and its so personal. Thank you for this I really appreciate it. I think you best said it as "who the heck knows?" and yes, much hype to come, indeed. As well as potentially major breakthroughs in treatment and a lessening WoD? WHO KNOWS.
I think one of the really interesting questions for me when it comes to the appearance of psychedelics back on the scene is - "Why now?" What is it about this particular place and time in history that is ripe for their reappearance? Because as you said, they make their appearance all throughout human history. There's good reason to believe accounts of mysticism/religious conversions could have been induced by humans messing around with psychedelics. In Ram Dass' biography he talked about the stuffiness, claustrophobia, stultifying social mores, and all around stifling, entrenched conventions of the 1950s (he talks in his biography how he was coming to realize his sexuality but also the reality that it could very likely get him killed) helped usher in the 1960's the desire for lots of folks to want to blow open their consciousness and experience themselves and their lives in a very different way. We have entrenched political polarization, deepening social inequality, racial inequality, surveillance capitalism, social media and all the exhausting self-reflective conversations it has inspired and the sense that opting out of it altogether is very consequential on many levels (personal, professional), the real existential threat to our existence posed by our consumptive habits leading to climate change and no governmental action on the issue... Plenty to feel ruminative, claustrophobic, and anxious about on any given day. Speaking of Buddhism - Buddhism may not be so much about slaying or eradicating the ego is at is about coming into a healthy relationship with it, holding it lightly and with flexibility, recognizing the truth of interdependence (how the thing that I call "I" could not exist without the sun in the sky and the farmers in the fields who grow the food without which I could not live without eating, etc). But we're all really awash in the ideals of the American ego, and in our particular culture, we don't hold this ego lightly - we become completely fused and identified with it. And this creatives tremendous personal and collective suffering. Hyper-productive. Individuated and individualized. Competent. Resilient. Gritty. Instagram ready. Possessing of self, self-agency, living some kind of larger hero/heroine journey and living that ever illusive work/life balance. Again, another very claustrophobic and limiting paradigm. Psilocybin is so powerful because it allows you to see this is as the "human game" / Maya / illusion. The bottom kind of falls out, which can be a relief but also terrifically terrifying at the same time (which is why there are good trips and there are bad trips). One of the big criticisms about the mainstreaming of Buddhist meditation practices/mindfulness practices is that it's been used by corporations to put the onus for dealing with burnout/stress/existential ennui back on the individual, shielding companies from criticism for their inequitable work environments/unreasonable demands for productivity/general bull shit (see: McMindfulness by Ronald E. Purser). My big question is - is this how we're going to fuck up and commodify psychedelics in the US? "Enhance your reality" because we can't deal with the deeply entrenched, looming, unsolvable issues in our larger political and social reality? Is this part of the appeal right now at this point in time? I think taking psychedelics at the right place and time, in nature ("set and setting" as it's called) can be a powerfully sacred experience. In the US, we worship the individual self/ego as an almost holy ideal. Psychedelics pull back the curtain on the self and expose a very different situation going on. Again, so many questions, and how will this all play out??? In our culture, we don't really "get" or understand or validate the pull towards self-transcendence because we're trying to make the "self" The Ultimate Thing. So maybe the reappearance of psychedelics at this time is also reality or the Ultimate having fun with all of us, Lila or divine play. I think Ram Dass would appreciate that perspective.
I hope everyone gets to fucking read this Kailey. It's brilliant and riveting and I'm nodding along and yessing. Clutching my chest. I have multiple questions and could keep going and want to say something very reductionist like "kali yuga?" to make some lols. Getting that book and wondering if you write about this anywhere you can point us to?
One of my favorite podcasts is Psychoactive hosted by Ethan Nadlemann (former ED of DPA) and on Ep 1 with Dr. Andrew Weil they touched on some of this, Kailey, in a really interesting convo about capitalism and the mainstreaming of psychedelics. They pondered how selling it as "cure all" or "key to enlightenment" kind of bastardizes the ritual/spiritual components of the psychedelic experience. I love all the eps of this podcast, but that particular convo has really stuck with me. What's going to happen as more states look at decrim-ing psychedelics and more VC/$ flows into the psychedelic space? Your post has so many good thoughts on this Q - thanks for sharing your insight, Kailey!
That's so interesting, Alex. I'll have to check that out. Thanks for sharing. Yes, how is it all going to get warped by this overlay of economic incentives and sleek marketing and all that? So fascinating.
Mar 2, 2022·edited Mar 2, 2022Liked by Holly Whitaker
Kailey, these are the questions I've been pondering and I feel have yet to be answered with regard to microdosing for the treatment of depression. Specifically whether the effects are actually maintained with short term use. Great comment.
I was part of a seminar recently which touched on the use of psychedelics in combination with therapy for the treatment of PTSD and depression. It seems that all of the participants involved in trails experienced marked improvement in symptoms in the short term but not all experienced lasting results. So far it looks like the combination of therapy with psychedelics and ongoing therapy without psychedelics provide the best long term outcomes. What I find interesting from the view point of IFS (Internal Family Systems) is that psychedelics seem to give people direct access to their essential Self/divine Self/soul and the wounded parts of their internal systems in a way that can be harder to do without psychedelic assistance. I don't think it is necessary but it could definitely fast track the process - which may also have pluses and minuses.
I found the article on cannabis addiction to be so interesting! I had a boyfriend who was in that same boat. But it was so hard to talk to him about it. At the end of the day, however, I see way more people struggle with alcohol. I'm a very occasional weed smoker. It wasn't something I did in high school, college, young adulthood, etc. I guess that's a very good thing. Thanks for sharing that! Also, the article on Brazil. So interesting!
That article on Brazil was really good! On the cannabis: it was harder for me to quit that and in some ways more destructive than alcohol and I think very few orgs have cracked the nut on how to help people quit. And I think you’re right; alcohol is way more harmful, especially in terms of social cost and physical health. Thanks for this.
Am in total agreement. It's just not talked about enough, and especially now with the legalization & $$$$$ to be made. I'm very lucky my immigrant parents demonized weed when we were kids and it sort of terrified us.
Wow! This is amazing! Everything I’ve clicked on was amazing. Thank you for putting this together. City of Girls by Liz Gilbert haunts me in beautiful ways.
I just read City of Girls for the first time a few weeks ago. I read it while I was going through a not mild Covid infection. It was exactly the escape that I needed. I needed Vivi's courage, naivety and creativity. I needed all the stupid mistakes she made, I needed Peg's forgiveness and Edna's lack thereof and most of all I needed her trickster perspective on life. It is one of those books, like Dianna Herself from Martha Beck, that whispers subliminal messages. I had a huge, life altering revelation while I was reading it.
When I was a young mother, just coming out of the worst of CPTSD, wanting and feeling ready to get my life back, I was looking for a new therapist. I sat down with an American psychotherapist in Berlin and explained to her that my life had become very small but that once upon a time I had been a very brave person and I wanted to find her and be her again. She asked me to explain what I meant by brave and I told her about some of the things I had done, the childhood that I had overcome, the great leaps without a net I had made. Just recounting the story of my life for her made me start to feel a little proud of myself and a little brave again. When I stopped, she stone cold looked at me over the rim of her glasses and said "that doesn't sound brave, it sounds reckless". And wham. My bubble burst and from that moment on, I was ashamed of what I had once found to be so brave about myself.
I think the truth lies somewhere in between. What I know for sure is that I was and I am brave. And maybe I would not have found myself in such dangerous situations if I had been less reckless but those situations surely would have swallowed me had I not been so brave.
Vivi was reckless too. And brave. What a fabulous, deep and wonderful, rich adventure she made of her life. All because she decided to experience it that way and live it however she damn well pleased.
City of Girls came along at exactly the right time for me.
This week's The Small Bow (AJ) newsletter had me laughing out loud, cringing and kind of glowing in that "I feel seen and heard" and "how the fuck did he do that?" kind of way. God I used to sweat BUCKETS at little kids birthday parties. But my little beauty used to be the gutsy little all singing, all dancing, I will not leave until the bitter end kind of 5 year old so... that was rough. We all survived it though and she'll be turning 16 next month. Holy moly.
God time flies! HOW 16?? It's so funny because as a non-parent, I think kids, like dogs, are excuses to meet other people and lessen the anxiety of making friends. On point though: he's a great writer. xx
So funny - our 10 year old puppy is such a freaky little weirdo that people either adore her and have absolutely no interest in engaging with me, look at me like I have two heads for owning a dog like that or a combination of the two. Pebble makes every interaction with a new person deeply awkward. She is very picky with who she wants to play with and only ever for short bursts. Then she's over it. Why play with other pups when she can make me chase her around trying to get her to give me the ball? So much more fun watching me sweat and laugh my ass off at her antics. She also does not like to have her butt sniffed, which in doggy etiquette, is very impolite. She demands tummy rubs and will lie on her back anywhere, anytime with her belly exposed, huffing and puffing until she gets what she came for or walks away utterly dejected, and gives you the side eye for the rest of the day. She is hilarious.
Is there ever any lessening of anxiety around making friends? I'm sweaty just thinking about it.
This email is the highlight of my week. It always helps me change my mind about something. Amazing collection of pieces as usual Holly
This made my day. Thank you!!!!
Hi friends…. I love how listening to Mitski is on your list Holly. I am reading this as I sit at the Calgary, Canada airport, waiting to board a flight to San Francisco so that we can go see Mitski play live this weekend. My 15 year old kid is a super fan and we’re being fun parents. 💗
Mitski is amazing and your kid has good taste! Also fun fact, Melissa Febos (author of girlhood and abandon me), who is also featured in this newsletter, wrote the album bio. https://www.instagram.com/p/CZjtiD8r-u2/?utm_medium=copy_link
Have so muck fun
I'm not sure what to think about the burgeoning popularity of psilocybin dosing. Small amounts of mushrooms have become decriminalized here in Denver where I live. At the school I did my undergrad degree at (a little hippie alternative Buddhist-inspired institution) you can now get a certificate in administering psychedelic-assisted therapies (this is for folks with a MA psychology degree) for $10,000!!! I think the one person who has had so much good stuff to say on all this is Ram Dass. You can take all kinds of beautiful trips, but eventually you have to come back down. They open a doorway, but you can't really stabilize into that "altered" state. But you can't deny the therapeutic value of really coming to see that consciousness and who we really are is far deeper and wider and vaster and complex and mysterious than we really get to experience in our normal, limited waking state. Ultimately Ram Dass was a proponent of yoga, meditation, and sangha/beloved community as a way to integrate and stabilize into the expanded states of consciousness that you can touch into on a psychedelic trip. But look what we've done to yoga in the United States in the past couple of decades. So who the heck knows? All in all I'm anticipating a major and over-the-top hype in the years to come.
This right here! Okay so many thoughts; and yes the hype is the thing to be concerned about because we're so starved for simple solutions to complex problems and we go through these cycles of pointing to silver bullets when there never will be one of those. I love your Ram Dass point which brings me back to something that Wayne Dyer said which was that alcohol and drugs didn't have a place on a spiritual journey, or what Buddhism ultimately says which is that in the end what we're trying to do is work with discomfort and anything that prevents us from really going there is in some form in the way. BUT THEN. There's also the history of drugs and altered states which is as old as humanity; since we've been, there has always been drugs, and there will always be drugs (I think). Also, Ram Dass thanked his experiences, he didn't regret them and I believe he said he couldn't have opened certain doors within himself without them (I'm thinking Grist For the Mill, which is where he also, incidentally, says abortion is murder and all abortion is bad). There's also indigenous and cultural use of drugs as rights of passage and part of ceremony, which is way different than you know, popping psilocybin to get shit done or whatever commodified use it provides to make us more productive. And then there's also the people I know personally with treatment resistant depression who have found extreme life-saving relief through Ketamine or other psychedelics and non-psychedelics like MDMA. And then also if we get really purist about it and say "we should find god with our own two hands" it starts to say, well what about suboxone or lexapro. Which is why I find it all so fascinating because so much nuance is required, and its so personal. Thank you for this I really appreciate it. I think you best said it as "who the heck knows?" and yes, much hype to come, indeed. As well as potentially major breakthroughs in treatment and a lessening WoD? WHO KNOWS.
Exactly!
I think one of the really interesting questions for me when it comes to the appearance of psychedelics back on the scene is - "Why now?" What is it about this particular place and time in history that is ripe for their reappearance? Because as you said, they make their appearance all throughout human history. There's good reason to believe accounts of mysticism/religious conversions could have been induced by humans messing around with psychedelics. In Ram Dass' biography he talked about the stuffiness, claustrophobia, stultifying social mores, and all around stifling, entrenched conventions of the 1950s (he talks in his biography how he was coming to realize his sexuality but also the reality that it could very likely get him killed) helped usher in the 1960's the desire for lots of folks to want to blow open their consciousness and experience themselves and their lives in a very different way. We have entrenched political polarization, deepening social inequality, racial inequality, surveillance capitalism, social media and all the exhausting self-reflective conversations it has inspired and the sense that opting out of it altogether is very consequential on many levels (personal, professional), the real existential threat to our existence posed by our consumptive habits leading to climate change and no governmental action on the issue... Plenty to feel ruminative, claustrophobic, and anxious about on any given day. Speaking of Buddhism - Buddhism may not be so much about slaying or eradicating the ego is at is about coming into a healthy relationship with it, holding it lightly and with flexibility, recognizing the truth of interdependence (how the thing that I call "I" could not exist without the sun in the sky and the farmers in the fields who grow the food without which I could not live without eating, etc). But we're all really awash in the ideals of the American ego, and in our particular culture, we don't hold this ego lightly - we become completely fused and identified with it. And this creatives tremendous personal and collective suffering. Hyper-productive. Individuated and individualized. Competent. Resilient. Gritty. Instagram ready. Possessing of self, self-agency, living some kind of larger hero/heroine journey and living that ever illusive work/life balance. Again, another very claustrophobic and limiting paradigm. Psilocybin is so powerful because it allows you to see this is as the "human game" / Maya / illusion. The bottom kind of falls out, which can be a relief but also terrifically terrifying at the same time (which is why there are good trips and there are bad trips). One of the big criticisms about the mainstreaming of Buddhist meditation practices/mindfulness practices is that it's been used by corporations to put the onus for dealing with burnout/stress/existential ennui back on the individual, shielding companies from criticism for their inequitable work environments/unreasonable demands for productivity/general bull shit (see: McMindfulness by Ronald E. Purser). My big question is - is this how we're going to fuck up and commodify psychedelics in the US? "Enhance your reality" because we can't deal with the deeply entrenched, looming, unsolvable issues in our larger political and social reality? Is this part of the appeal right now at this point in time? I think taking psychedelics at the right place and time, in nature ("set and setting" as it's called) can be a powerfully sacred experience. In the US, we worship the individual self/ego as an almost holy ideal. Psychedelics pull back the curtain on the self and expose a very different situation going on. Again, so many questions, and how will this all play out??? In our culture, we don't really "get" or understand or validate the pull towards self-transcendence because we're trying to make the "self" The Ultimate Thing. So maybe the reappearance of psychedelics at this time is also reality or the Ultimate having fun with all of us, Lila or divine play. I think Ram Dass would appreciate that perspective.
I hope everyone gets to fucking read this Kailey. It's brilliant and riveting and I'm nodding along and yessing. Clutching my chest. I have multiple questions and could keep going and want to say something very reductionist like "kali yuga?" to make some lols. Getting that book and wondering if you write about this anywhere you can point us to?
One of my favorite podcasts is Psychoactive hosted by Ethan Nadlemann (former ED of DPA) and on Ep 1 with Dr. Andrew Weil they touched on some of this, Kailey, in a really interesting convo about capitalism and the mainstreaming of psychedelics. They pondered how selling it as "cure all" or "key to enlightenment" kind of bastardizes the ritual/spiritual components of the psychedelic experience. I love all the eps of this podcast, but that particular convo has really stuck with me. What's going to happen as more states look at decrim-ing psychedelics and more VC/$ flows into the psychedelic space? Your post has so many good thoughts on this Q - thanks for sharing your insight, Kailey!
That's so interesting, Alex. I'll have to check that out. Thanks for sharing. Yes, how is it all going to get warped by this overlay of economic incentives and sleek marketing and all that? So fascinating.
Kailey, these are the questions I've been pondering and I feel have yet to be answered with regard to microdosing for the treatment of depression. Specifically whether the effects are actually maintained with short term use. Great comment.
I know! <3 Mimi. xx
I was part of a seminar recently which touched on the use of psychedelics in combination with therapy for the treatment of PTSD and depression. It seems that all of the participants involved in trails experienced marked improvement in symptoms in the short term but not all experienced lasting results. So far it looks like the combination of therapy with psychedelics and ongoing therapy without psychedelics provide the best long term outcomes. What I find interesting from the view point of IFS (Internal Family Systems) is that psychedelics seem to give people direct access to their essential Self/divine Self/soul and the wounded parts of their internal systems in a way that can be harder to do without psychedelic assistance. I don't think it is necessary but it could definitely fast track the process - which may also have pluses and minuses.
I found the article on cannabis addiction to be so interesting! I had a boyfriend who was in that same boat. But it was so hard to talk to him about it. At the end of the day, however, I see way more people struggle with alcohol. I'm a very occasional weed smoker. It wasn't something I did in high school, college, young adulthood, etc. I guess that's a very good thing. Thanks for sharing that! Also, the article on Brazil. So interesting!
That article on Brazil was really good! On the cannabis: it was harder for me to quit that and in some ways more destructive than alcohol and I think very few orgs have cracked the nut on how to help people quit. And I think you’re right; alcohol is way more harmful, especially in terms of social cost and physical health. Thanks for this.
Am in total agreement. It's just not talked about enough, and especially now with the legalization & $$$$$ to be made. I'm very lucky my immigrant parents demonized weed when we were kids and it sort of terrified us.
It will definitely be interesting to see what happens over the next decade, for certain.
Thanks Holly, a beautiful start to my day.
🥰
Wow! This is amazing! Everything I’ve clicked on was amazing. Thank you for putting this together. City of Girls by Liz Gilbert haunts me in beautiful ways.
Awww thank you Rikki! Signature of all things is that for me ♥️
I just read City of Girls for the first time a few weeks ago. I read it while I was going through a not mild Covid infection. It was exactly the escape that I needed. I needed Vivi's courage, naivety and creativity. I needed all the stupid mistakes she made, I needed Peg's forgiveness and Edna's lack thereof and most of all I needed her trickster perspective on life. It is one of those books, like Dianna Herself from Martha Beck, that whispers subliminal messages. I had a huge, life altering revelation while I was reading it.
When I was a young mother, just coming out of the worst of CPTSD, wanting and feeling ready to get my life back, I was looking for a new therapist. I sat down with an American psychotherapist in Berlin and explained to her that my life had become very small but that once upon a time I had been a very brave person and I wanted to find her and be her again. She asked me to explain what I meant by brave and I told her about some of the things I had done, the childhood that I had overcome, the great leaps without a net I had made. Just recounting the story of my life for her made me start to feel a little proud of myself and a little brave again. When I stopped, she stone cold looked at me over the rim of her glasses and said "that doesn't sound brave, it sounds reckless". And wham. My bubble burst and from that moment on, I was ashamed of what I had once found to be so brave about myself.
I think the truth lies somewhere in between. What I know for sure is that I was and I am brave. And maybe I would not have found myself in such dangerous situations if I had been less reckless but those situations surely would have swallowed me had I not been so brave.
Vivi was reckless too. And brave. What a fabulous, deep and wonderful, rich adventure she made of her life. All because she decided to experience it that way and live it however she damn well pleased.
City of Girls came along at exactly the right time for me.
I’m just so happy and grateful that this space on the internet exists. That is all ❤️
I'm so glad you're here <3
This week's The Small Bow (AJ) newsletter had me laughing out loud, cringing and kind of glowing in that "I feel seen and heard" and "how the fuck did he do that?" kind of way. God I used to sweat BUCKETS at little kids birthday parties. But my little beauty used to be the gutsy little all singing, all dancing, I will not leave until the bitter end kind of 5 year old so... that was rough. We all survived it though and she'll be turning 16 next month. Holy moly.
God time flies! HOW 16?? It's so funny because as a non-parent, I think kids, like dogs, are excuses to meet other people and lessen the anxiety of making friends. On point though: he's a great writer. xx
So funny - our 10 year old puppy is such a freaky little weirdo that people either adore her and have absolutely no interest in engaging with me, look at me like I have two heads for owning a dog like that or a combination of the two. Pebble makes every interaction with a new person deeply awkward. She is very picky with who she wants to play with and only ever for short bursts. Then she's over it. Why play with other pups when she can make me chase her around trying to get her to give me the ball? So much more fun watching me sweat and laugh my ass off at her antics. She also does not like to have her butt sniffed, which in doggy etiquette, is very impolite. She demands tummy rubs and will lie on her back anywhere, anytime with her belly exposed, huffing and puffing until she gets what she came for or walks away utterly dejected, and gives you the side eye for the rest of the day. She is hilarious.
Is there ever any lessening of anxiety around making friends? I'm sweaty just thinking about it.
I went to a brunch the other day, all new people. The answer is no.