Real quick: Tammi and I are still selling our forty day email course The Mantra Project: 40 Days of Sobriety, at a discount, for $11. The price will be $33 on January 2nd, if you’re looking for support in making a change in January, this is a great complement. An email delivered daily to give you an affirmation to work with.
Saving the Modern Soul: Therapy, Emotions, and the Culture of Self-Help
I am going to be 60 in March. I was in therapy every single week from 19-49. AA and Alanon did more for me than 25 years of therapy. I was over medicated (in my view because I had excellent insurance) and it was not until I chewed my arm off from the shackle of my co-dependent relationship with the therapist and got in recovery (and off Prescribed medicines:
Ambien, Risperidone, Depakote and whatever cocktail of the antidepressant of the year) and started WALKING and meditating every single day did I get my life back. I was brainwashed into thinking I was sick. My identity was created to make me believe I was “depressed”. I was not depressed...I was grieving. The medical/psych INDUSTRY in America is whacked. I am sober now since 2000 and am happily married and happy to say off any and all medications and mood altering substances.
Holding all of this. Thanks for sharing your experience, I've read a lot of similar stories through newsletters like Mad in America and it's so heavy; it is indeed whacked. You might find something in reading Thomas Szasz's stuff, though it's dense. In any event, thank you again. Sending you all the good things 2023 has on offer <3
his website is madinamerica.com, and he's written a few books, Mad In America, and Anatomy of an Epidemic. I have found all of them to be really important resources and I hope you do to. He's a fair reporter.
Thank you for all of your work on Recovering this year Holly, and for compiling this list, it reminded me of some of the great books I've read these past 12 months that you recommended, including The Myth of Normal and I'm Glad My Mom Died. I now have many more that I want to start! I'm also pleased that you mentioned The Copenhagen Trilogy - I devoured that one a few years back and feel it's a seriously underrated book.
And to anyone who's thinking about doing The Mantra Project, I did it a couple of months back and got a lot out of it.
Wishing you, Holly, and everyone else here a happy and healthy 2023.
Thanks Tom for being here and supporting it. It means a lot. The Copenhagen Trilogy was just, gutting and I wanted so much more. I'm almost afraid to read any of her other stuff. If I stopped buying books now I think I'd still have enough to get me through the rest of my life with some to spare. Thanks for being here and same to you, happy happy 2023. <3
Yes! Thank you for this, Holly! I love seeing Norman Fischer here. Taking Our Places: The Buddhist Path to Truly Growing Up is on regular rotation for me. I likely discovered him through you a couple years back.
I'm pretty sure I also discovered May Sarton's Journal of a Solitude through this newsletter; it was my most recent read and felt extremely familiar.
Where the Crawdads Sing was my surprise hit of the year (all the more so since I rarely read fiction unless it's by Ursula K. Le Guin, who is magic in my eyes). I didn't expect Crawdads to feel so immediately resonant; I figured it was more of a "trendy, pop-culture" read. Maybe so, but I couldn't put it down and it still haunts me.
He's SO GREAT and I just added that book to my list. Thank you! I just recently found him from Carl Fisher who practices zen so it was not I. Re May Sarton, not me either but I think that was mentioned in the comments somewhere? I LOVED where the crawdads sing! I wish I could read that one again for the first time.
Fanatical about Journal of a Solitude. Give me a white house with an elegant office of my very own where I can write for seasons about my sadness? I’m in
Right? I also love that she speaks of the tedious, unending letters that she "must" reply to by hand and which she stuffs in an actual, physical box under her desk. And her exploration of and fascination with her own rage and explosiveness. Also her questions around whether it's possible to reconcile being in a romantic relationship and showing up fully for writing and creation. For me, I'm not sure it's possible, really.
YES. I found her relationship with her neighbor / friend fascinating. Like: I want a friend who lives in a separate house and comes over **sometimes.** I found her tracking of depression very useful and relatable. And haha early email anxiety! With her letters queue...
I totally agree with your caution about psychedelics NOT being the cure for everything that ailes us. I also agree with scientists at major medical institutions. We need more research to establish SAFETY and efficacy guidelines.
A leading neurobiologist who is terminally ill has left money to establish a research center to do just that.
Is who you are talking about Roland Griffiths? If not, there is another terminally ill scientist doing the same named Roland Griffiths. He was on this podcast and it was really something; worth listening I think. Thanks Paula. http://rss.samharris.org/feed/1aa24f16-001c-4ad0-b62b-c53649e7e737
Busting in again (sorry?) I also really appreciated you saying you’ve gotten more out of meditation than medicinal psychedelics. I am very pro personal frontiers but realllly don’t like substances. I’m like”oh no do I have to do mushrooms to be my best self?!” But meditating and reading Pema I can do...👍
Completely inappropriately busting in to say I love AP’s book of essays This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage. Her essay about trying out for the LAPD is so memorable. You might like it if you’re in the mood for light and fun but still meaningful
Well somehow I didn't read your book until late 2021 so that would be #1. Fucking loved it. Dopamine Nation would be second. Those two convinced me to ditch the weed too. 14+ months AF and 2 months weed free. Just ordered Darryl as I need something that's not about Recovery! Thank you!
Do you have a newsletter where you wrote about your approach to meditation? Looking forward to reading about your experience at the silent retreat. I get so blocked when it comes to keeping up with a regular practice.
I did at some point write about it thought not extensively; I wrote about a ten day silent, about hating people when you meditate lol, and some resources on my old website but nothing super extensive. I think what I wrote about yoga kind of applies (that's been brought over). I get blocked with it too. ADHD <3 I'll write about it as best I can this week. Thanks for the nudge.
Thank you for this wonderful selection! Many I loved and many I am excited to read.
A couple more you might enjoy:
Anything by Charlotte Joko Beck (her Everyday Zen has been a guiding text in my practice for years and she’s got that kind-of-an-asshole/grandmotherly kindness thing happening) and Let Your Life Speak by Parker Palmer. As for the latter, I’ve read no better book about vocation. It also made me curious about being a Quaker.
I read The Dawn of Everything this year, too, and your sentence "...also gave me really loosely formed arguments I keep trying to have at dinner parties that make me absolutely look like I have no idea what I’m talking about" cracked me up because I so relate. I kept trying to explain the book to people and why I was so excited about it and would find I could barely formulate any sentences at all because it is so, so dense. You did a great job summarizing it here, better than I have been able to!
HAHAHAH. oh my god though so true right! I swear I understood it to be coherent when I was reading it and now I just say "umm it was good you should read it then we can discuss."
Dana thank you! I love love love TBKTS! Still a classic and Gabor is truly wonderful. I was grateful for that book and all his work. I cannot bring myself to read no bad parts and I have no idea why. I think I'm just over "another thing I have to know to be a healing human" if that makes sense but I really am glad you recommended it. everyone who has ever read it has recommended it.
Chasing the Scream by Johann Hari was the best non-fiction I’ve read since April, based on your recommendations. And my husband is THRILLED that I will now have 50 new books to read! ;) thank you so much, Holly.
With regard to:
Saving the Modern Soul: Therapy, Emotions, and the Culture of Self-Help
I am going to be 60 in March. I was in therapy every single week from 19-49. AA and Alanon did more for me than 25 years of therapy. I was over medicated (in my view because I had excellent insurance) and it was not until I chewed my arm off from the shackle of my co-dependent relationship with the therapist and got in recovery (and off Prescribed medicines:
Ambien, Risperidone, Depakote and whatever cocktail of the antidepressant of the year) and started WALKING and meditating every single day did I get my life back. I was brainwashed into thinking I was sick. My identity was created to make me believe I was “depressed”. I was not depressed...I was grieving. The medical/psych INDUSTRY in America is whacked. I am sober now since 2000 and am happily married and happy to say off any and all medications and mood altering substances.
Holding all of this. Thanks for sharing your experience, I've read a lot of similar stories through newsletters like Mad in America and it's so heavy; it is indeed whacked. You might find something in reading Thomas Szasz's stuff, though it's dense. In any event, thank you again. Sending you all the good things 2023 has on offer <3
Thank you, Holly. I will look up the author. Blessings to you in 2023.
his website is madinamerica.com, and he's written a few books, Mad In America, and Anatomy of an Epidemic. I have found all of them to be really important resources and I hope you do to. He's a fair reporter.
Thank you for all of your work on Recovering this year Holly, and for compiling this list, it reminded me of some of the great books I've read these past 12 months that you recommended, including The Myth of Normal and I'm Glad My Mom Died. I now have many more that I want to start! I'm also pleased that you mentioned The Copenhagen Trilogy - I devoured that one a few years back and feel it's a seriously underrated book.
And to anyone who's thinking about doing The Mantra Project, I did it a couple of months back and got a lot out of it.
Wishing you, Holly, and everyone else here a happy and healthy 2023.
Thanks Tom for being here and supporting it. It means a lot. The Copenhagen Trilogy was just, gutting and I wanted so much more. I'm almost afraid to read any of her other stuff. If I stopped buying books now I think I'd still have enough to get me through the rest of my life with some to spare. Thanks for being here and same to you, happy happy 2023. <3
Holly I know it took a ton of time to develop this post. Thank you so much. It’s something I’ll come back to again and again!
Aww thank you Whitney <3
I want to be the woman in the bookstore who gave you Emily SJM books. What an angel. Station 11 is one I give friends all the time.
I will never forget her!
Yes! Thank you for this, Holly! I love seeing Norman Fischer here. Taking Our Places: The Buddhist Path to Truly Growing Up is on regular rotation for me. I likely discovered him through you a couple years back.
I'm pretty sure I also discovered May Sarton's Journal of a Solitude through this newsletter; it was my most recent read and felt extremely familiar.
Where the Crawdads Sing was my surprise hit of the year (all the more so since I rarely read fiction unless it's by Ursula K. Le Guin, who is magic in my eyes). I didn't expect Crawdads to feel so immediately resonant; I figured it was more of a "trendy, pop-culture" read. Maybe so, but I couldn't put it down and it still haunts me.
He's SO GREAT and I just added that book to my list. Thank you! I just recently found him from Carl Fisher who practices zen so it was not I. Re May Sarton, not me either but I think that was mentioned in the comments somewhere? I LOVED where the crawdads sing! I wish I could read that one again for the first time.
Fanatical about Journal of a Solitude. Give me a white house with an elegant office of my very own where I can write for seasons about my sadness? I’m in
Right? I also love that she speaks of the tedious, unending letters that she "must" reply to by hand and which she stuffs in an actual, physical box under her desk. And her exploration of and fascination with her own rage and explosiveness. Also her questions around whether it's possible to reconcile being in a romantic relationship and showing up fully for writing and creation. For me, I'm not sure it's possible, really.
YES. I found her relationship with her neighbor / friend fascinating. Like: I want a friend who lives in a separate house and comes over **sometimes.** I found her tracking of depression very useful and relatable. And haha early email anxiety! With her letters queue...
Hi
I totally agree with your caution about psychedelics NOT being the cure for everything that ailes us. I also agree with scientists at major medical institutions. We need more research to establish SAFETY and efficacy guidelines.
A leading neurobiologist who is terminally ill has left money to establish a research center to do just that.
Is who you are talking about Roland Griffiths? If not, there is another terminally ill scientist doing the same named Roland Griffiths. He was on this podcast and it was really something; worth listening I think. Thanks Paula. http://rss.samharris.org/feed/1aa24f16-001c-4ad0-b62b-c53649e7e737
Busting in again (sorry?) I also really appreciated you saying you’ve gotten more out of meditation than medicinal psychedelics. I am very pro personal frontiers but realllly don’t like substances. I’m like”oh no do I have to do mushrooms to be my best self?!” But meditating and reading Pema I can do...👍
I love this, thank you :-)
<3
Run by Ann Patchett. Thank you Holly xoo
Ohhh! I haven't read any AP in years. Thank you for this!
These Precious Days is a must read!
Completely inappropriately busting in to say I love AP’s book of essays This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage. Her essay about trying out for the LAPD is so memorable. You might like it if you’re in the mood for light and fun but still meaningful
Fantastic list!
Thank you Alex!
Well somehow I didn't read your book until late 2021 so that would be #1. Fucking loved it. Dopamine Nation would be second. Those two convinced me to ditch the weed too. 14+ months AF and 2 months weed free. Just ordered Darryl as I need something that's not about Recovery! Thank you!
Darryl is so good! Specific. But good. Congrats to you on all that work. Such a big deal. xx
Thank you for being such a badass!
Do you have a newsletter where you wrote about your approach to meditation? Looking forward to reading about your experience at the silent retreat. I get so blocked when it comes to keeping up with a regular practice.
I did at some point write about it thought not extensively; I wrote about a ten day silent, about hating people when you meditate lol, and some resources on my old website but nothing super extensive. I think what I wrote about yoga kind of applies (that's been brought over). I get blocked with it too. ADHD <3 I'll write about it as best I can this week. Thanks for the nudge.
Thank you for this wonderful selection! Many I loved and many I am excited to read.
A couple more you might enjoy:
Anything by Charlotte Joko Beck (her Everyday Zen has been a guiding text in my practice for years and she’s got that kind-of-an-asshole/grandmotherly kindness thing happening) and Let Your Life Speak by Parker Palmer. As for the latter, I’ve read no better book about vocation. It also made me curious about being a Quaker.
Thank you for your work!
ohhh kind-of-an-asshole/grandmotherly kindness is my weakness! Thank you for these recommendations SO MUCH. I just bought everyday zen. xx
Thanks so much Holly - my Goodreads list is now bulging. Emotional inheritance’ by Galit Atlas made a big impact on me last year.
Thank you Kate!!! My goodreads is a crime scene of gluttony <3 Thank you for this recommendation!
I read The Dawn of Everything this year, too, and your sentence "...also gave me really loosely formed arguments I keep trying to have at dinner parties that make me absolutely look like I have no idea what I’m talking about" cracked me up because I so relate. I kept trying to explain the book to people and why I was so excited about it and would find I could barely formulate any sentences at all because it is so, so dense. You did a great job summarizing it here, better than I have been able to!
HAHAHAH. oh my god though so true right! I swear I understood it to be coherent when I was reading it and now I just say "umm it was good you should read it then we can discuss."
Great recommendations! I adore Maia Szalavitz and that book about harm reduction is a gem. It’s so beautiful.
I also love how you put in Gabor mate! I’ve hung on to him for years he’s so brilliant.
These two have helped this year, although I’m sure you have read them Holly. Keep on keeping on!
Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
And
Richard Schwartz Ph.D. and 1 more
No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model
Thank you Holly! I’ve been reading your things since 2010. You have a great recommended reading list for the New Year. Your writing is brilliant!
Dana thank you! I love love love TBKTS! Still a classic and Gabor is truly wonderful. I was grateful for that book and all his work. I cannot bring myself to read no bad parts and I have no idea why. I think I'm just over "another thing I have to know to be a healing human" if that makes sense but I really am glad you recommended it. everyone who has ever read it has recommended it.
Chasing the Scream by Johann Hari was the best non-fiction I’ve read since April, based on your recommendations. And my husband is THRILLED that I will now have 50 new books to read! ;) thank you so much, Holly.
lol I bet he is! That was such a good book!! Thanks for adding that here!